“Does he mind you going away for so long?”
So this week I’ve been battling with this q uestion that someone asked me over the weekend.
I’m not sure of their intention with the question but it certainly left me feeling unsettled, because before then I didn’t think it was even an issue.
So, the backstory is that I am going away on a trip to South America in the Summer. YAY!
I’m going with a friend.
And we’re going for 45 days. Travelling across Brazil, Bolivia and Peru.
When this friend asked me if I wanted to go, I was like “HELL YES!”
But before I fully committed I ran it past James, my other half. I thought I’d better 😆
To which he was like “Wow, what an opportunity! Yes, go! You’ve got to do these things” 💜
I couldn’t quite believe it was that easy. But then I don’t know why I was surprised….. James is an adventurer at heart and totally gets it. It’s what drew me to him.
I even double checked with him by pointing out that it would obviously mean him taking care of the dog himself (technically Pepper is my dog and I had her before we got together).
He was still absolutely fine with it.
Since then, he has said he will miss me while I’m gone. But then I will also feel the same.
But generally, we are in a good place about me going away on this trip.
So when someone asked me just a few days ago whether he minded that I was going away for so long, it stopped me in my tracks.
I had been sure he was until this person implied, through the way they asked the question, that maybe he should mind or that I was being out of order for going away for so long. Or at least that’s how I read into it.
It felt like a leading question and I started to wonder whether I was being unfair.
It was whirling away inside of me. And I started to feel guilty, asking myself “Should I really be doing something like this and leaving James behind?”.
I had to chat it through with him and make sure, again, that it was all good. To which I got the exact same answer as I did the first time I mentioned it.
It made me realise that as a partnership we are solid in the way we live our lives together and in the things we do apart. We do take care of each other and allow space for whatever each other needs.
But this got me thinking about how easy it is to be thrown into a spin by others beliefs and ideas and to start second-guessing yourself.
And this is going to happen throughout our lives unless we become hermits.
As that’s unlikely……
It’s important to realise that other people don’t know the intimate details of your life, your relationships, your business, your dreams and so any opinion they offer is going to be based on their own. Not yours, theirs!
Not all things that others may say or think are really about you. Other people’s words and comments are just their personal view of the situation.
The important element is to be sure in what you know is true and right for you.
So look inwards rather than hanging off the opinions and ideas of other people. And also decide whose opinion matters and who you do want to answer too…. And you should most definitely be at the top of that list!
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