This weekend I had the wonderful privilege of assisting on one of the workshops I did as part of my own coaching training. It’s a magical experience to sit at the back of the room and see other people explore and expand themselves as well as their coaching capabilities.
Something that was very energising about the weekend was the amazing feminine energy. The two leaders at the front and the three assistants were all female. It’s quite an unusual thing apparently. I love the power, openness and acceptance women bring when we get together. It was amazing to be a part of.
At the end of the last day we spent time closing the workshop with a ritual called ‘completion’. It’s an opportunity for everyone to say their final thoughts on what they’re taking away and celebrating from the workshop.
During this completion some of the participants acknowledged what they saw in each of us assistants and leaders.
One assistant was acknowledged on as being a ‘goddess’ – well she is a gorgeous, tall, blonde New Zealander that walked around with great elegance and grace. It felt perfect for her for both what was on the outside but also what she gave from the inside.
The other assistant was acknowledged for her bold and fierce energy, strength, openness and support. (And what was wonderful about meeting this particular lady was just how much we had in common that connected us.)
Then it was my turn and the words that came were sweet, peaceful, quiet but confident, and they also said it felt to them like I had their backs throughout the workshop.
Now, if someone had acknowledged me even just a year ago as being sweet and quiet (despite whether they’d included the confident bit or not) I would have wanted to find a dark room to hide in and sob.
To me and how I was perceiving the world back then, being sweet and quiet were not attributes that would make me successful. I needed to be full of energy, brash, bold, loud and confident, especially if I was to be successful in any job and even life.
However, the more I tried to push myself to be these things the more I would actually squirm, feel completely stupid and hide away. Forcing myself to be something I’m not only made me feel even more inadequate.
What has been amazing about my journey towards my dreams and building my businesses is gaining the appreciation of just how important it is to be my authentic self and embrace what strengths and traits come most natural to me.
With that, I also have greater awareness of what energy I present and it is that of caring, quiet, reflection, holding others (i.e. having their back). With this awareness comes the ability to embrace and say “yes” to owning this, using it in a way that feels right for me and there comes the confidence and the grounding.
So now, firstly, the acknowledgment from the participant comes as no surprise and, secondly, I know it is who I am and I can sit with it and take up my space with it.
They saw it as something positive to acknowledge me for in some way and I am appreciating that.
As my coach perfectly put it as I was telling him all about this – “You can’t do anyone else other than you.”
So with saying “yes” to finding peace with who I am, I have said “no” to looking at others for and criticising myself for not being more like them.
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is your than you.” Dr. Seuss.
Leave me a comment below with what’s come up for you from this post, I love to hear from you.
I coach wholehearted, wonderful people who want the confidence to say “screw everyone else, I am who I am”. If this is what you need to scream from the rooftops too book in for a free call to find out how coaching could help you.
This photo is of the lovely leadership team from the weekend.