A reader of one of my posts – Setting out as an entrepreneur is a big juicy experiment, so get your petri dish out! – asked “so how can I cultivate curiosity even when experiencing fear, perfectionism, comparison…. I’d love to hear your thoughts?”
Hmmm, what a scrummy question to explore!
I thought I’d share my thoughts with you as well, as I think it’s a really valid question and the answer could be interesting to you too.
The feeling of fear and the act of perfectionism and comparison are part of the very experiment in your Petri dish as an entrepreneur I talked about previously.
Because it’s not unusual at all to experience these things on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. And I think it’s really important to highlight this.
Fear, perfectionism and comparison are a symptom of being unsure and insecure about something. Becoming a business owner and building your own business is filled with so many unknowns because it’s as unpredictable as pretty much everything else in life….
Our minds don’t really like not knowing stuff and it begins to feel unsure and insecure. SO it tries to do everything it can to help fill in the gaps, like…..
> Making up elaborate scenarios….. “This (insert crazy, extreme, unpleasant picture here) is going to happen if you do blah blah….”
> Assuming an outcome…. “People like them won’t want to buy from me because they are ?????”
> Insisting you have to do something till it’s “just right”….. “I’ll just get 100 different people to check this over before I press publish…..”
> Looking at what others are doing and show you where you’re not living up to that….. “That person doing the same thing as me has 20,000 followers, there’s just no point in me even trying!”
Shit, the mind can be super depressing and negative! But we needn’t pander to it!
I was recently talking to a client who wants to start sending regular emails to her mail list, but she was procrastinating overdoing it even though it’s been on her list to do for months.
I asked her “How come you’ve been stalling with this?” (being curious, which is my job 😂 so I’m quite good at it!)
She immediately said in response “I’m worried that they won’t like what I’ve sent and will unsubscribe!!”
Oh hello there FEAR!! (It sounded like fear of rejection and not being liked! A common deep-rooted fear for many of us!)
She was already seeing the scenario of people opening her email, deciding they don’t like it and then LEAVING HER list!
Her mind had decided that’s what was going to happen, although it didn’t actually know that at all!
It had stopped her just giving it a go and discovering how she could serve her mail list.
So we explored this by asking “What could she do to address this unknown?” and doing some brainstorming –
She came up with:
#1 She could ask her mail list what they would like to see in her emails.
#2 She could just draft something she thought was relevant, send it anyway and see what happens.
#3 She could simply forget about the mail list and not do anything and stop worrying about it.
She opted for number 1! Doing more research was a great way for her to start. So she did! She sought out more information to help her know what to write about and what to give her readers.
The enemy of fear is information.
Knowledge and information is power….
Knowledge and information empower you!
So when you’re experiencing these symptoms, fear – perfectionism – comparison, or other things like procrastination, it’s important to understand why (what is the unknown the mind is filling the gap of) and to get to the bottom of what the underlying problem is.
AND TO DO THIS YOU GO BACK TO BEING CURIOUS!
IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT BEING CURIOUS!
When you stop being curious, get curious about that!!
Ask yourself “What is the unknown that my mind is worrying about?”
And then “What information can I find to resolve this unknown?”
Or “what action do I need to take right now to address the unknown?”
Learn to question everything that’s going on! It’s not something we’ve been necessarily been encouraged to do growing up but we must and we should!
To sum this all up very briefly, curiosity keeps curiosity going!
So I’m now curious, do you have any topics, experiences or problems you would like me to put my thoughts to? If you do just hit reply and type away.
P.S. Know somebody who needs to see this? Give ’em a helping hand by sharing this with them.
AND here’s just a little reminder of what I do…
I work with female entrepreneurs and business owners who want to build their dream businesses!
I will help you get clear on what you need to do, how you’ll do it and keep you on track. You’ll give self-doubt the elbow, saying bye to overwhelm and hello to assertive action. Saving you time, effort and energy!
STRATEGY, ACTION & ACCOUNTABILITY = THE BUSINESS YOU LOVE WITH LESS HUSTLE! 💓
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I love this work!